"Who was that, luv? Nick asked as he entered the living room and took a seat.
"Yasmin." she replied. "She wanted to go to lunch."
"Are you gonna go?" he asked, almost hopeful.
"No." she answered.
"She misses you, Liv. She's your best friend."
"Yeah well.....I don't feel like being around anyone right now." she replied harshly.
"Liv, I really wish you'd talk to me. I know this has been an extremely hard time for you. It's been hard for both of us. Just please talk to me." he begged.
"I don't want to talk about it." she said as she slammed her book shut.
"Sweetheart, I'm not trying to upset you, but talking is the only way we can get through this." Nick reasoned.
"I said I dont' want to talk!" she yelled.
"Liv!" he called as she ran up the stairs.
She didn't reply. He heard the bedroom door slam behind her. Nick sat in shock, not completely sure of what just happened. He decided to stay put and not go after her, better to let her calm down now. He thought it best to go back to the studio, thinking if he stayed home, he'd drive them both crazy trying to get Olivia to open up to him.
"Liv?" he called through the closed door.
"What?" she answered gruffly.
"Sweetheart, I'm going to go to the studio and try to catch up. Please call me if you need anything."
There was no reply from Olivia, only silence.
"I love you, Olivia." he said.
Nick turned from the door and began walking down the hall. He stopped in front of the closed nursery door. He stared at it for a few moments, wiping the tears that filled his eyes. He descended the stairs, collected his keys and left for the studio. Olivia heard Nick leave. She remained in the bedroom for a long while afterward. The phone rang as she reached the landing at the bottom of the stairs.
"Hello?" she asked.
"Hi Liv." John replied.
"Hi."
"Is Nick around?" he asked.
"No, he's at the studio." she answered.
"Ok, thanks. I'll call him there then." John said.
"Yeah, he's there by now." she replied.
"Liv, you ok? Is something wrong?" John asked.
"I'm fine.....Nick's just been after me to talk to him again."
"And?" he asked.
"I said no, got upset and yelled at him. I just don't want to discuss it." she said.
"It's ok Liv." he said softly "You can talk to me. You got a lot off your chest during our last conversation."
"I know." she sighed "I was amazed...I felt better after we talked."
"I'm glad. Do you wanna talk now?" he asked.
"Maybe.....I think I'm gonna get out for awhile. I feel like the walls are closing in on me." she replied.
"You're always welcome to come over here if you want to talk." he offered.
"I suppose I could." she said.
"Good. Maybe I'll see you afterwhile?"
"Perhaps." she replied.
"Bye, Liv."
"Bye." she said as she hung up.
She replaced the handset, got her coat and walked out the front door. Olivia arrived at John's a short time later and knocked on his door. He opened the door and let Olivia in. She shed her coat, John led her into the living room and they sat down across from each other.
"Here luv, have some tea." he said, handing her the cup.
"Thanks." she replied.
"That'll warm you up a bit. It's freezing out there." he chuckled.
"It is cold. I thought Chicago was cold." she laughed.
"It's good to hear you laugh and see you smile." John said truthfully.
"It feels good to relax. I've been so tense with Nick and Yas trying to talk to me. I know Yas means well, but I just don't want to be around her or anybody else for that matter."
"You've been around me." John replied.
"I'm relaxed around you.....You don't expect anything from me. Nick wants me to open up and talk to him and I can't. I get tense just being in the same room with him. Yas also wants me to talk to her or go out with her....but, I can't. They don't understand."
"I'm not going to pressure you to talk, but it's good that you are." John said.
"Yeah...." Olivia said as she sank back against the sofa.
"Would you like something to eat?"
"No thanks..........John?"
"Yes?" he asked.
"Are you nervous around me?"
"Not really nervous...just curious." he replied.
"About what?" she asked.
"About what happened.......You said you didn't want it to stop."
"I don't." she purred "This is the best I've felt in over a month. Don't try to understand what happened or why. I don't even understand it." she said as she stood and walked to the door.
"Where are you going?" John asked as he caught up with her.
"I think I should go." she said.
"I really don't want you to go. I'd like it if you'd stay." he said, wrapping his long arms around her tiny frame.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"Very." he whispered as his lips covered hers.
John picked her up easily and carried her into his bedroom. He laid her down on his bed as they continued their kiss. They somehow managed to get their clothes off and soon Olivia felt John's hands on her skin. His touch was warm and gentle. The lingering kisses that covered her body were soft, hot and driving her crazy. She begged for more each time he teased her by stopping. John explored every inch of her body with his hands, lips and tongue, making her cry out each time he touched her. "It's my turn." she purred, running a finger down his chest. The teasing touches from her fingers sent chills through his body. Her soft lips started on his throat, lingered on his chest and abdomen and ended between his legs, causing John to moan and writhe around once his now painful erection felt her mouth.
"Olivia.....you've gotta stop." he begged. Her mouth covered his in a breathless kiss. "Now!" she begged as he slowly entered her. He thrust into her, sending her cries through the room. Her legs coiled around him, pulling him in deeper, orgasm ripped through her violently, making her whole body shake. John tried to hold back, but his own release tore through him, making him moan loudly and cling tightly to Olivia.
They lay motionless and silent as they regained their breath. Olivia stood up and began picking up her clothes. John watched her for a few moments before he spoke.
"Liv, what are we gonna do?" he asked.
"About what?" she asked as she got dressed.
"About this.....I didn't expect it to happen again." John said.
"But it did, John." she replied.
"Yeah, and the crazy thing is I enjoyed the hell out of it." he said.
"You're pretty amazing." she said before she kissed him and walked out of the room.
***************
Olivia returned home a short time later. She took her coat off, headed up the stairs and turned the shower on. She got undressed and stepped in and let the hot water run over her body. Thoughts ran through her mind....thoughts of Nick, John, everything. Olivia's body was soon wracked with sobs. She cried until she could cry no more. She felt miserable again. She stepped out of the shower, pulled her robe on and listened at the bedroom door for any noise in the house. It was silent, which relieved Olivia. She just wanted to be alone right now. She went downstairs to get her book when the phone rang. She walked over to the answering machine when it picked up the call. It was Yasmin asking Olivia to call her. Olivia erased the message and went back to the bedroom, closing the door behind her.
The house was dark when Nick arrived home.Not a light, not a sound. He
made his way in the dark to the kitchen, where he then turned on the
lights.
It was late and he was tired and lonely.He set about making a snack,
then was going to take a shower and go to bed.
After eating, Nick turned out the light and made his way up the
stairs.He walked past the room that was going to be the nursery.He felt
his heart sink, but felt like he needed to open the door.
Nick walked in and shut the door behind him.
The room was relatively empty. The only things they had bought so far
had been the crib, a rocking chair, and a cute little blanket they had
seen on one of their shopping trips.
Nick picked the blanket up from where it dangled over the side of the
crib, and sat down in the rocking chair.
Hot tears stung his eyes as he sat rocking....holding the blanket of the
child he would never know.

CHAPTER 46

Nick awoke the next morning, still sitting in the rocking chair, holding the baby blanket. He stood and stretched before he draped the blanket over the side of the crib. He opened the door, stepped into the hall and saw Olivia as she was leaving the bedroom. He offered a slight smile, but it was met with an icy glare from Olivia. She turned and went back into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Nick sighed and made his way to the shower. Nick entered the kitchen, freshly showered, dressed and ready for a day at the studio. Olivia was seated at the table, looking through the morning paper. "G'morning, luv." Nick said as he took a seat at the table. "Morning." Olivia replied flatly. "How are you feeling today?" he asked. "Fine." she replied. "Liv, are you ever going to open up and talk to me? You can't keep shutting me out like this." he said. "I don't want to talk." she answered. "You never want to talk, Liv. Don't you know it's killing me to see you like this? It hurts, Liv and what also hurts me is the fact you won't talk to me. You can tell me anything, you can trust me. We can help each other through this." "I don't want to talk! I just want to be left alone!" she yelled as she threw the paper down and stormed out of the kitchen. Nick heard the bedroom door slam as he rubbed his now aching head with his hands. "What the hell am I gonna do?" he mumbled to himself. He downed a couple of asprin and headed for the studio. ************ When Nick arrived at the studio, John and Simon were already there. "Hey Rhodes! I haven't seen you for awhile." Simon said. "Hey Charley." Nick replied. "You ok?" Simon asked. "You look like hell, mate." John said, joining the conversation. "I've had a very long morning." Nick said. "Is Liv alright?" Simon questioned. "She says she's fine.....that's all she'll say. She won't speak to me. Look, I really don't want to discuss this here in the studio, I need to work and not think about anything but music for awhile." Nick said. "Sure, Nick. Are we ready?" Simon asked. Nick counted down as they began playing. "Wow!" Simon yelled as they finished the last song. "We got some great stuff down today." Nick said. They began turning their equipment off, ready to head home after a long day. "Bye, mates." John said as he left. "What's up with Taylor? He's barely spoken a word all day." Simon said. "He's missing Kate." Nick replied. "Yeah...I guess he does." Simon sighed. "See you tomorrow, Charley." Nick said as he headed out the door. *********** Nick arrived home. The phone began ringing before he could even shut the door. Olivia answered the phone in the bedroom. "Hello?" she asked. "Hi Liv." John replied. "Hi.....Something wrong?" she asked. "No, nothing's wrong. Can you come over?" John asked. "Ummm...yeah. I'll be there in a few." She replied. "See ya." John said. Olivia hung up, left the bedroom, descended the stairs and went into the kitchen. "Who was that luv?" Nick asked. "Dammit! Don't sneak up on me!" she yelled. "I'm sorry, Liv......I didn't mean to startle you." "Well you did." she mumbled. "Did you have a good day?" he asked. "No." she replied sharply. "Liv, I'm really trying here, it's hard to have a conversation if you won't talk to me." Nick said. Olivia turned to face him. Her hazel eyes were cold as she glared at Nick. "I've told you repeatedly that I don't want to talk! I don't want to do anything but be alone!" she spat. "Sweetheart, please calm down. I'm sorry....I didn't mean to upset you." "I will NOT calm down! Just leave me alone, ok?" "Liv, please....." he begged. "I've had it....I've gotta get out of here....away from this." she said as she slammed the door behind her, leaving Nick alone in the kitchen. He had no idea what had just happened....it all happened so fast. Olivia was still enraged when she knocked on John's door. He opened the door to let Olivia step in. He emerged from behind the door as he closed it, wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist, still wet from his shower. John grabbed her, pulling her close to him and pressed his lips hard against hers. He pushed her coat from her shoulders and began taking her shirt off. Electric sensations pulsed through her when she pressed herself against his still wet skin. His long fingers played along the waist of her trousers, teasing her before he unbuttoned them and slid them down. He teasingly ran his fingers up her thighs, making Olivia shriek and suck her breath in. John continued kissing her deeply. She ran her hand along the towel slowly before she slid it past the edge and wrapped her fingers around his erection. She slowly began kissing his chest, stopping to nibble, suck and lick his hard nipples. "Liv...." he moaned softly as she kissed around his belly button, before working her way down. John couldn't handle anymore, he pulled her up from her knees and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist, he removed his towel sending her into cries of begging when his fingers brushed against her. "Now!" she begged when his erection pushed against her. John obliged, he laid her down and thust into her willing body, orgasm immediately hit her making her arch and buck against John. She ground her hips hard against his. The loud moans and hard thrusts from his climax made Olivia's whole body shake before she cried out in pleasure. John held her close, their bodies shaking and their breathing heavy. Olivia sat up for a moment before she collected her clothes. "Are you leaving?" John asked. "I will in a bit." she replied. "Liv, were you in a bad mood when you got here? You didn't look very happy." "Let's just say Nick and I had a confrontation before I left." "Nick was home when I called?" John asked. "I suppose. I didn't hear him come in. When I hung up with you, I went downstairs. He snuck up on me, scared the hell out of me and I got pretty upset." she explained. "Shit....I can't believe he might've been there when I called." John said. "John." she began "Don't worry about it, I told him I had to get out of there. Believe me, after that, I really did need to leave." "Do you think he'll say anything when you get home?" John asked "I haven't been gone that long...if I'm lucky, he'll either be asleep or he'll do as I asked and not bring up talking again." she said. "Liv, if something's bothering me, you know you can talk to me." he said softly. "I know...I know. God, I don't even know where to begin." "The beginning." he chuckled. "Ok....well, this morning when I left the bedroom, Nick was coming out of the nursery. All I thought was why was he in there?" "Why don't you ask him?" John asked. "Oh no...that's one conversation I'm not getting into." she replied. "You know I can't talk to him, John. I've explained all that to you." "I know, luv...I know." John said as he hugged her. "Thanks John, for everything." she said as she kissed him one more time. John heard the door close behind her as she left. ************ Olivia arrived home. The house was quiet, but she knew Nick was there somewhere. She went into the kitchen, downed a couple of asprin for her headache and walked up the stairs. She heard soft music coming from Nick's music room. She walked to the door and opened it quietly. She found him playing his guitar. A thought from their past raced through her mind, causing tears to fill her eyes and make her sob softly. She was unaware that Nick heard her. He approached her, he didn't know why she was crying. Nick took her into his arms and spoke softly. "Liv, it's ok...I love you." he said. Olivia snapped back to reality. She struggled to get out of Nick's arms. "DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!" she screamed as she tore away from him and ran down the hall, slamming the door behind her. Nick stood alone in the hall as the shock ran through him. ********* Nick awoke after a restless night. All he could hear was Olivia screaming at him. She'd acted like his touch was poison. He got dressed and headed to the kitchen, passing Olivia in the living room. She answered the phone quickly when it rang. "Hello?" she asked. "Hi, Liv." Yas replied. "Hi." Olivia said flatly. "Liv, I was hoping that we could get together for lunch today. I really miss you." "I don't feel like it, Yas." "You could come over here." Yas offered. "I don't feel like going anywhere." "Ok, Liv." Yas sighed. Olivia replaced the handset. Nick stood motionless in the kitchen. He'd heard Olivia's side of the phone call, but couldn't believe that she'd been so cold to Yasmin of all people. "Liv, I'm going to the studio now." he called. "Bye." she replied smugly. Nick turned, headed out the door and made his way to the studio. Nick, John and Simon worked until about lunch time. "Hmm..." Nick said as he sat and listened to what they had so far."Needs a bit more work." he said with a frown. "I thought it sounded good." Simon replied. "You would." Nick shot back with a chuckle. "John. I think you can call it a day.You sounded great. I think I am gonna go back over the keyboard parts and make Charley do a few more vocal takes." Nick said over his shoulder to John. "You sure, mate?" John asked. "Yeah...go enjoy the day." "Well, ok. See ya later guys." John said as he opened the door and walked out. "Hello?" Olivia asked "Hello." John purred. "Umm...I thought you were supposed to be at the studio." she teased. "I was.I 'm done for the day.I'm home now." "Ah..I see.So, what do you need John?" Olivia asked, as if she didn't know. "You.I want you,Liv." John said huskily on the other end. "That sounds nice." she said, as for the first time in ages, a blush covered her cheeks. "I'll be here." John said as he hung up the phone. Olivia changed clothes, brushed her hair, grabbed her coat and headed out the door. Olivia walked along briskly, lost in her thoughts.She thought about Nick.She knew this would kill him if he ever found out.She still loved him,she just felt so terribly disconnected from him and had no idea how to set it right. And John, he was so wonderful, she felt so comfortable with him, but she knew it wasn't love...on either part. She was so busy concentrating that she didn't notice Yasmins' car pass her in the street. "That was Liv. Where the hell?" Yasmin asked herself as she turned the car around. Yasmin followed then realised the way was familiar to her...it was the way to Johns' Yasmin parked on the corner and watched as Olivia walked up to Johns' door, knocked, and was allowed in. "What is she doing going to Johns'?" she whispered to herself, as she sat thinking about what she just saw. Con't next pg.