Liz walked into the living room and grabbed her address book. She
thumbed through it til she found the page she was looking for.
She listened as Nicks' answering machine kicked on.
"Nick, hi. This is Liz...Olivias' friend from Chicago.I just wanted you
to know that she is with me. Didn't know if you would be concerned or
not. If you need to call the number here is 714-448-3380. Thanks. Bye."
with that Liz put the phone back in its cradle.

John was startled by the ringing of the phone.
"'Ello?" he asked.
"Hi sweetheart." Kate cooed from the other end of the line.
"Katie, luv...I've missed you so much." John sighed deeply.
"I've missed you too, John.Sorry I haven't had a chance to call
much...but I've thought about you constantly."
Johns' heart sank...he knew he had to tell her...he hated the thought of her finding out any other way.
"I know Kate. I've gotta tell you something...and this ain't gonna be easy."
"What is it John?"
John told Kate about Olivia and the miscarriage.
"Oh, that is terrible." Kate whispered
"She was in a real bad place after that....and you had just left and I
was so lonely, we never meant for it to happen."
"For what to happen, John?' Kate asked nervously.
"We slept together."
Kate exhaled sharply, like she had just had all the air knocked out of her.
John listened to Kates' quiet sobs waiting for her to speak.
"Do you love her?" she finally managed to ask.
"No....it wasn't about all that..." John trailed off, not knowing what
to say next.
"I assume Nick knows. What did he have to say?"
"He hates me...that I am dead to him."
"I have to say...I think I agree with Nick." Kate said in a dull, hollow tone as she hung up.
John laid the handset down. He'd known Kate would be upset, but not like that. Now she hated him and wanted nothing more to do with him....just like Nick.
"Dammit." John whispered as he lowered his head to his hands and the tears stung his eyes.
*************
Nick arrived home. He watched Simon pull away as he closed the door. He saw the lights flashing on his answering machine. He pressed the play button, not expecting to hear Liz's voice. He wondered why Olivia hadn't called herself. He was glad she made it ok and that she was with a friend. Nick walked up the stairs and entered his room. He could smell Olivia's perfume in the air. He slipped into some pyjamas and got in bed. The linens smelled like Olivia, making Nick realise he was alone.
*************
Simon entered the studio to find Nick already hard at work.
"G'morning." Simon said.
"Hey Charley." Nick replied.
"What's wrong." Simon asked.
"One hell of a long night." Nick sighed.
"Did something happen?"
"No, not really. Olivia's friend, Liz called whilst I was out with you, letting me know that Liv was there with her."
"Glad she made it ok." Simon said.
"Yeah, me too. The really strange thing was going in my bedroom for the first time in awhile, since that's where Liv was staying holed up......I could smell her perfume everywhere, and when I got in bed, I could smell her on the sheets--everywhere. It made me realise I was very alone. It made me miss her terribly, I think." Nick explained.
"I'm sure you miss her, that's normal." Simon replied.
"Even when she wouldn't speak to me, she was still there. I just wish everything hadn't gone to hell." Nick said.
"G'morning." John said in a hushed tone.
"Morning, Johnny." Simon said. "Johnny, you look like shit. You ok?" Simon asked.
"No....not really." John sighed.
Nick turned to walk to his equipment. He began turning it on and playing with sounds.
"Let's get to work." Simon said as he and John started warming up.
The trio put in a long day. They began winding down and turning their equipment off.
"John, what's going on?" Simon asked.
"Long night....Kate called last night." John explained.
"How's Kate doing." Simon asked.
"She was fine." John sighed.
"What do you mean was?"
"I told her about everything going on around here." John said.
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her everything, Charley."
"Did you make sure to tell her you fucked her friend--my girlfriend?" Nick asked dryly.
"Nick! Don't do this." Simon said.
"Yes..." John began "I told her everything. She didn't take it well, of course and she said she hates me and she hung up on me."
"At least you were honest with her, John." Simon said as he headed toward the front room.
"I'm sorry Nick." John said.
"I don't want to hear it." Nick snapped.
"I AM sorry Nick. I didn't do it on purpose."
"Oh, I see.....you just accidentally fell into bed with Olivia. You'll have to explain that one to me sometime, Nigel." Nick replied sarcastically.
"Dammit Nick, I'm trying to apologize here." John said.
"I don't want to hear anything you have to say!" Nick yelled.
"I know I hurt you."
"No, you didn't hurt me. You hurt Kate....You destroyed our friendship and I told you that. I want nothing more to do with you." Nick hissed. "You're a right bastard, you know that? You came in here every damn day being quiet and distant and I was stupid enough to think it was because you missed Kate. Little did I know that when you left here, you had Olivia in your fucking bed!" Nick yelled as he slammed down a set of his keyboards.
"I did miss Kate....I still do."
"Yeah, I'm sure she sees how much you missed her.....you slept with another woman who just happened to be one of her friends. Smart move, Nigel."
"Can you stop being sarcastic for once?" John asked.
"No." Nick said sternly.
"Can we at least be civil?"
Nick walked up to John, backing him against a wall.
"There's nothing civil left between us. You've killed that." Nick seethed. "If you expect sympathy for Kate hating you now, you can forget it! I've no sympathy for you. You're getting exactly what you deserve." Nick spat as his hands curled into fists.
"Nick! Stop!" Simon yelled as he physically pulled Nick off of John.
"What the hell's going on?" Simon asked.
"I told that little bastard not to speak to me." Nick said breathlessly.
"Goddammit, John. I told you to stay away from Nick. I'm not going to put up with this shit while we're working! I don't want to pull you two apart everytime I turn my back!" Simon yelled.
"I'm sorry" John said.
"I demand that we take a few days off!" Simon said.
"Fine...I'm leaving." Nick said as he brushed by Simon.
"Johnny.......You've gotta stop this. Leave him alone. You know better than to piss Nick off."
"I know, I know." John sighed.
"Are you ok?" Simon asked.
"Yeah....I'll be alright, he got a couple good punches in though." John replied.
"Go home, Johnny. I'll call you and we'll come back in a few days." Simon said.
**************
"You did what?!?" Olivia yelled.
"Liv, I wanted him to know you're here and that you're alright." Liz explained.
"I can't believe you did that." Olivia said.
"It's no big deal, Liv. I just left him a message."
"Look, I'm sure Nick doesn't even want to hear my name right now, let alone know where I am." Olivia sighed.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know it was going to upset you." Liz replied.
"It's ok....I'm sorry I snapped at you."
"Liv, I understand. You're going through a rough time right now."
"Yeah, it's called facing reality. I was out of it for so long, that I was numb. Now I'm not numb anymore and everything's sinking in and I realise the damage I've done."
"Have you spoken to anybody in London since you left?" Liz asked.
"No.....I really miss Yas terribly. I'd love to talk to her, but I don't know how that would go. I pushed her away too and I lied to her."
"Would she side with Nick?"
"Yas wouldn't side with anyone. She's not like that." Olivia replied.
****************
Simon arrived home and collapsed on the sofa next to Yasmin.
"I'm so glad to be home." he sighed.
"What happened, Si?"
"Everything started out fine. Nick and I were talking. Liv's friend in Chicago called and said Liv was at her place and she's fine."
"I'm glad. I've been worried about her. How did Nick react?" Yas asked.
"He was fine...he misses her though. Then John came in, he'd spoken to Kate last night and he told her everything."
"Oh God....what happened?" Yas questioned.
"She's upset. She told him she hates him and she wants nothing to do with him."
"Oh no. I'll bet he's crushed....Nick won't have anything to do with him and now Kate." Yas said.
"Yeah, John was pretty down today. Nick and John were bickering while they were turning their equipment off and I went outside for a minute. I could hear Nick yelling from outside. I heard a crash, which I found out was Nick slamming down a set of his keyboards. And when I came back in, Nick had John against a wall, his hands were in fists and he'd punched John a couple of times." Simon explained.
"Oh no." Yas whispered.
"I had to pull Nick off of him, it was awful. I read John the riot act for talking to Nick after Nick had told him to stay away from him.....Johnny knows better than to piss Nick off."
"I'm sorry Si....I didn't know it would get this bad."
"S'alright luv. Nick will be alright once he calms down a bit. We're taking a few days off so those two can stay in their own corners for a bit and calm down.
"I think that's a good idea." Yas said.
"Yeah...In the words of Nick, it's possibly the best idea I've had in awhile." Simon laughed.

CHAPTER 52

Olivia picked up the phone with trembling hands.She had hurt all of them so much, that just the thought of dialing the number made her sick. She waited as she listened to the crackling on the line. "'Ello?" "Simon...it's Liv." "Liv! Great to hear from you!" "Thanks.Is Yas around?" "She's right here, hang on." "Liv?" "Hi Yas." Olivia said not knowing what to expect. "Thank god! We've been really worried about you." "Thanks...I didn't know if you would even want to talk to me after the way I was to you..." "None of that is important, Liv.I knew you weren't yourself. I just hated that there was nothing I could do." "Thanks Yas. I'm finally starting to see how I really fucked everything up." "It's a right mess..I'll give ya that." "Yas...how's Nick?" "Aw Liv...he's not too good. He's hurting pretty bad. He and John tried to kill each other in the studio yesterday...Charley said it was terrible. And John told Kate...she reacted pretty much the same way Nick did." "Jesus." Olivia whispered, as tears ran down her cheeks. "And Nick told Simon he misses you....he's still in love with you Liv. Do you still love him?" "More than anything Yas...I just don't know what to do about all of it just yet." "Time will take care of all that luv. " "I hope so, Yasmin. I hope so." "The guys are taking a few days off from the studio.....I'm sure Nick will be home if you wanted to call him." Yas hinted. "I'd love to talk to him. I miss Nick terribly, but I doubt he'd want to talk to me. I don't even think I'd know what to say." Olivia said. "Liv, he does miss you and he does love you. Yeah, he's hurt, but he'll get over that....he doesn't want to be without you. He's more mad at John than anyone." "I hate that he and John are fighting. Poor Simon has to be in the middle of it all." Olivia sighed. "Ah, don't worry about Si, he can handle it. Nick and John have been friends for such a long time, they'll work it out." "Yasmin?" "Yes?" "I'm so very sorry for acting the way I did. I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way and I'm sorry I lied to you." "Liv, it's ok. I'm just glad you're back to normal. I was really worried about you. I miss you so much." Yas said. "I miss you too, Yas." Olivia replied. "Don't be a stranger....call me, ok?" Yas said. "I will." Olivia promised. "Bye, luv. Take care." "Bye Yas. Thanks." Olivia replied. Yasmin hung up with Olivia and smiled. "How's Liv?" Simon asked. "She's fine. She misses Nick." Yas said as the phone rang. "He misses her too." Simon said as he picked up the phone. "'Ello?" Simon asked. "Hi Charley. Can I speak to Yas?" Nick asked. "Well, speak of the devil." Simon laughed. "What?" Nick asked. "Ah, nothing. Hold on a sec." Simon chuckled. "'Ello?" Yas asked. "Hi Yas." Nick replied. "Are you ok, Nick?" "I dunno......I just feel so alone. I really miss Olivia." he answered. "Nick, I just spoke to her." Yas said. "You did? How is she?" "She called and she's fine. She misses you and she said she loves you more than anything. Now that she's out of the funk she was in, she sees everything clearly again. Losing your baby really affected her. Liv knows she made mistakes, Nick." "We've all made a lot of mistakes lately." Nick said. "What do you mean?" Yas asked. "I'm sure Simon told you what happened today at the studio." "Yes.....he did......How did it happen?" "I dunno...I just lost it, I can't believe I hit John." "Nick, you were upset." Yas said. "I wanted to hurt him." Nick sighed. "It's alright Nick. Everybody's been on edge lately. Everything's going to work out." Yas said. ***************** Nick laid in bed, trying to go to sleep, but finding it impossible. He held Olivia's pillow as he stared at the ceiling. He missed her and no matter what she'd done, he still loved her. Nick was still deep in his thoughts when the phone rang. "'Ello?" he asked. "Hi." Olivia replied softly. "Liv?" "Yes Nick, it's me." she said. "How are you?" he asked. "I'm fine." "I'm glad Liv." "Nick, it took me a long time to work the courage up to call you. I didn't know if you'd even speak to me or not. I just want you to know that I'm so sorry for everything. Nick, I love you, I'd never do anything intentionally to hurt you. But now that reality has set in, I know I hurt you in so many ways by not talking to you, hiding from you and pushing you away. I'm sorry Nick, I really am." "Apology accepted." Nick replied. "I need to apologize to you for something too. Liv, I'm sorry I spoke to you the way I did when I confronted you. I was hurt and upset........I didn't know how to handle it all. I should've never spoken to you like that. I'm sorry." He heard her sobbing softly. "Thank you, Nick." she cried. "Liv.......I miss you. I miss you a lot." he confessed. "I miss you too." she sobbed. "Don't cry, luv." he said softly. "I'm sorry....I'm just happy to be talking to you." "Me too, Liv. Oh, tell Liz I said thank you for calling and letting me know that you were safe and with her." Nick said. "I got upset with her for doing that. I didn't think you'd ever want to hear my name again." She said. "Liv, no matter what's happened between us, I still love you and care about you. I've told you before, NOTHING would change that. It's unconditional love, Liv. Do you remember me telling you that?" "I remember....you said it when I came home from the hospital." she sobbed. "Do you believe me now when I say it?" he asked. "I do...I'm sorry I doubted you and us after we lost our baby." she cried. "Don't apologize. I doubted a lot of things too...it was hard on both of us, luv. We've survived it....Just because we lost the baby, doesn't mean we've lost us." "Yeah....I guess we've survived it. I'm glad I called now." Olivia said. "I'm glad you called too, luv." he replied. "I know it's late there....I suppose I should let you get some sleep. I just wanted to talk to you." "I'm glad you called. I miss you, Liv. I've missed hearing your voice." "I miss you too." Olivia cried. "I love you, Liv. Don't ever forget that." "I won't. I love you too, Nick." "G'night sweetheart." he said softly. "Goodnight." she whispered before she hung up and began crying. "Liv? Are you ok?" Liz asked. "I'm fine." "Why are you crying?" "I just got off the phone with Nick." "Uh-oh....he must still be mad, huh? "No, we actually talked and it was great. I opened up to him again.. Liz, he said he misses me and he still loves me." Olivia cried. "I'm glad, Liv. I know you miss him and love him. I remember how miserable you were last time you two were apart. It's about time you called him." Liz laughed. "You can thank Yasmin for that. She told me how Nick felt about me and she told me about everything that's been going on.." Olivia said. "And Liz..." "Yeah?" "Nick told me to thank you for calling him and letting him know I was here with you and that I was alright." "Tell him he's welcome the next time you talk to him. I knew he'd be concerned." Liz said as she hugged Olivia. "Thanks for everything, Liz." "You're welcome." Liz said as she closed the door. Olivia laid back against the pillows, her thoughts revolving around Nick and their conversation as she drifed off to sleep. continued next page